Today we are going to look at a question I have asked a lot of bands over the years: “Why in the hell did you call yourself that?” If you think about it the name of your band is one of most important marketing tools you have and even though some of these bands made it in spite of their name you have to wonder if it would have been easier if people didn’t giggle each time they said the name!
10 – Flower Travellin’ Band – I’m hoping since these guys were a Japanese band that something was lost in translation, but the early success they showed in the metal scene was quickly squashed in North America when fans were asked to bang their heads to a bunch of Flower Travelers.
9 – Pretty Maids – I do love them and have interviewed them a couple of times, but when you hear the name and listen to their distinct hard rock sound there is a definite disconnect. I actually asked about the name in one interview and these Danish legends made no excuses or allowances for it. WOW!
8 – Barnabus – if you’re going to head out on the road as Christian metal band you don’t have to hit us over the head with it. Naming yourself directly after one of Jesus’ disciples is a bit obnoxious and a very hard act to follow.
7 – Legs Diamond – they reached a certain level of success and are known in some circles as the “American Deep Purple,” but for the life of me I can’t figure out how they came up with this cluster of a name. I don’t really have the time to figure out the metaphor they were going for.
6 – Mama’s Boys – nothing says metal like being a “Mama’s Boy!” Do you really want us to take you seriously in a hardcore community when you come right out and say you need your Momma’s tit to succeed? This name actually borders on the asinine!
5 – E.F. Band – this name may have come across better in their home of Sweden, but using these two choice initials of founders names comes across as “F” band! It’s like they censored themselves before ever taking the stage.
4 – Elf – its blasphemous for me to put a Ronnie James Dio band on here, but the obvious play on the member’s stature always bothered me. Some members of the general public used to consider Dio as a real life Satan; apparently they didn’t know he was in a band called ELF! RIP Ronnie – we love you!
3 – The Handsome Beasts – when I first saw this name back in the early 90s I thought for sure this was a boy band. Turns out they were a self-proclaimed metal band that wanted the women to love them before seeing them. That whole “making music” thing seemed to be a sticking point for them though. See the album Bestiality for evidence.
2 – Jag Panzer – I could never get by the name for these guys and it actually effected the way I listened to their music. I know the name was after a tank, but there are much better tanks out there. Sherman, Tiger, anything, but this one.
1 – Blue Oyster Cult – yes they are legends, and yes they are considered by some to be the founders of Stoner Metal, but why oh why did they pick this name? They have sold 24 million albums and have countless awards; and the name is better than their original though of “Soft White Under Belly,” but I just don’t get it. Even blue cult would be ok; I will never get the Oyster.
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