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Martell Rants: June 2012

June 23, 2012

Wasp Megadeth

My one chance a month to rant, rave, and bitch about everything metal. This column always gets me the most email, so keep em’ coming:

1. Megadeth recently got stoned on stage in Croatia because rumors went around that WASP cancelled the festival because they didn’t want to perform with Mustaine and company. Is this the same WASP I used to listen to? Black Lawless? Has Croatia heard them before? I like WASP fine enough, but picking them over Megadeth – give me a fuckin’ break.

2. In a bit of good news our Friday Faceoff tournament has proven to be quite the success. Now that were heading into Round 3 things are getting quite interesting. Not to get ahead of myself, but the next tournament is already being talked about and it’s going to include some faces that don’t normally get the recognition they deserve.

3. Years ago we had Motley Cruise, then Monsters of Rock Cruise, then a Bret Michaels cruise. What the hell is going on with all these metal cruises? A mosh pit on a boat with low railings in the Pacific Ocean sounds like a bad idea to me.

4. Have you noticed the increase in mainstream movies stars saying they are big heavy metal fans? I’m not going to name names because they don’t deserve publicity for something so fuckin’ stupid. It’s bigger news to say you like metal than coming out as gay now. It turns out being metal is the only acceptable discrimination.

Heavy Metal News Axl Rose Jewelry

5. Axl Rose had some jewelry stolen and although I didn’t care his explanation of how a fan got it made me laugh. Axl said she was just an excited fan… seriously? I think he was the excited one that got caught with his pants down. (What’s that noise? Any hope of us ever interviewing him leaving the building!)

6. On YouTube more people viewed an interview with King Diamond’s Grandmother, than his performance with Metallica! Speechless… Were music fans right? Not stalker paparazzi!

7. The new Queensryche member drenched band Rising West is a bit pissed because they are locked out of Queensryche’s social media outlets! Your right; who gives a fuck!

8. I do have to ask you all about Hell Yeah. People seem to hate them like Metallica hates Kip Winger. They’re not really my cup of tea, but for hard rock fans they are quite good. I know there is a connection to Pantera, but Vinnie never once said they were trying to continue the legacy of his former project. Was Vinnie supposed to hang up the sticks forever?

Heavy Metal News Sebastian Bach Living In The Past

9. Every second interview we hear Sebastian Bach say there won’t be a Skid Row reunion because he doesn’t want to live in the past. Ok! Words of advice though! Stop talking about it. (Don’t worry folks if I can’t interview Axl , I won’t get Bach either)

10. I read an article accusing Valerie Bertinelli of being the Yoko Ono of Van Halen. Apparently since she hasn’t been around the band has been getting along much better. I personally think ole’ Diamond Dave is just way outnumbered by Halen’s now!

11. We have a couple of guest bloggers on the go now and I want to send shout outs to them for their hard work and great numbers they have pulled in. Fang and Shadowseer are doing a great job for us and were happy to have them on board.

Metal on,


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